The Funding Zone

Protime Predictions Week 9. The trick is the mascot

Tagged under: News, Protime Predictions

| October 20, 2022


Protime was thinking about something the other day.  He always wished he could have been a high school mascot.  Kids love mascots and want to get their pictures taken with them.  A while back Protime had his picture taken with the Nittany Lion.  Come to think of it Protime was an adult, but he acted like a kid.  Mascots are supposed to really ham it up.  Protime is a good ham and likes to be conspicuous especially when he’s quaffed a couple of root beers!

Here are Protime’s favorite 25 mascots across the country in no particular order:

  • Harrison Golden Goblins (Harrison, AK)
  • Yuma Criminals (Yuma, AZ) – a local police cruiser actually escorts the team onto the football field each home game!
  • Live Oak H. S. Acorns (Morgan Hills, CA) – their motto is “Go Nuts!”
  • Rocky Ford Meloneers (Rocky Ford, CO)
  • Avon Old Farms Winged Beavers (Avon, CT)
  • Tarpon Springs Spongers (Tarpon Springs, FL)
  • Cobden Appleknockers (Cobden, IL)
  • Fisher Bunnies (Fisher, IL)
  • Freeburg Midgets (Freeburg, IL)
  • Hoopeston Cornjerkers (Hoopeston, IL) – ‘Jerky’ is the name of the mascot.
  • New Berlin Pretzels (New Berlin, IL)
  • Teutopolis Wooden Shoes (Teutopolis, IL)
  • Frankfort Hot Dogs (Frankfort, IN)
  • Brewer High Witches (Brewer, ME)
  • Blooming Prairie Awesome Blossoms (Blooming Prairie, MN)
  • David Henry Hickman H. S. Kewpies (Columbia, MO) – the mascot is a kewpie doll in case you were wondering.
  • West Plains H. S. Zizzers, (West Plains, MO) – A Zizzer is someone who is the best at whatever they do and also the remembrance of those good ole high school days.
  • Chinook Sugarbeeters (Chinook, MT) – the town has a history with sugar beets.
  • Cary Imps (Cary, NC) – an Imp is a flying green devil. Cary is the oldest high school in North Carolina.
  • North East Grape Pickers (North East, PA)
  • Williamsport Millionaires (Williamsport, PA)
  • Chattanooga Central Purple Pounders (Harrison, TN)
  • New Braunfels Unicorns (New Braunfels, TX)
  • Ridgefield Spudders (Ridgefield, WA) – we are talking potatoes.
  • Poca High Poca Dots (Putnam County, WV)

Protime went 16-9 last week and is 147-58 for the 2022 season.  Here are the Poised Prognosticator’s projections for this week.

Jersey Shore 8-0 @ Canton 8-0 – Jersey Shore has outdistanced the opposition this year 485-60.  That’s averaging 60 points offensively.  To top it off, the first team defense has not allowed a single point.  Barking signals for the Bulldogs is Brady Jordan.  He has 785 passing yards with 10 TDs, plus he’s rushed for 515 yards and 12 scores.  RB Hadyn Packer has logged 715 yards on the ground and scores 19 touchdowns.  Cooper Peacock has 700 yards in punt returns.  Tate Sechrist leads in tackles and the Bulldog ‘D’ has 77 tackles for loss.  Canton has outscored their foes 377-37.  RB Riley Parker has 792 yards rushing and has 15 TDs.  QB Austin Allen only averages 4 passes a game, completing 3 of them for an average of 17 yards per completed pass.  Weston Bellows has 323 yards in punt returns.  PK Bailey Ferguson has booted 4 FGs.  Hudson and Hayden Ward lead the Warriors in tackles.  In the end, Jersey Shore will win 42-28.

Souderton 7-1 @ Upper Dublin 8-0 – Good one on tap in District 1.  The Souderton Indians are led by QB Jared Zimmerman who has thrown for 882 yards and 7 scores.  He has rushed for 5 more TDs.  RB Chris Kerns has 638 yards and 7 TDs.  Placekicker Ty Quintois has an amazing 11 field goals to date.  Kerns, Jayden Bergey, and Ryan Sadowski head up a strong Indian defense.  The Cardinals counter with QB Colin O’Sullivan who has over 1,400 yards passing and 17 TD throws.  WR Griffin Pensabene has 30 grabs for 518 yards and 7 TDs.  RB Nyfise McIntyre has raced for over 700 yards and 10 TDs.  Austin Pendleton has 5 FGs.  Kyree Butler and Dominick Paone lead the Cards on defense.  Even though Dublin is #1 in 5A, Souderton (6A) is going to give them a really, really tough time.  Upper Dublin 31 Souderton 27.

Armstrong 7-1 @ Highlands 8-0 – Cadin Olsen has thrown for 2,045 yards and 28 touchdowns for Armstrong.  River Hawk wide outs Isaiah Brown and Ian Olsen are the top receivers.  Brown has 28 grabs for 487 yards and 10 TDs.  Olsen has 30 snares for 685 yards and 4 scores.  RB Alex Patton is a yard short of 600 for the year.  Defensively, Ian Olsen has 4 picks and Dozick Zablocki leads the team in tackles.  The Golden Ram QB Chandler Thimons has 632 yards passing with 9 TDs plus 7 rushing TDs.  Luke Bombalski has 798 rushing yards with 10 touchdowns.  RB Aaron Rudolph also has 10 running TDs.  Landan Signorella is the leading receiver.  Highlands won last year and in 2020.  This year is Armstrong’s turn to win.  28-21.

Western Wayne 7-1 @ Lakeland 8-0 – A great one on the books in D-2.  Western Wayne has outscored competition 298-75.  QB Frankie Leyshon has 680 yards passing with 5 TDs.  RB Luke Janiszewski has 1,241 yards on the ground with 17 TDs.  John Vinton has rushed for 8 scores.  Sean Owens leads the Wildcats in interceptions.  Lakeland is also an animal piling up 376 points while only allowing 76.  QB Dominico Spataro has 1,593 yards pitching the pigskin.  He has thrown 25 TD passes.  He has rushed for 627 yards and 8 more TDs.  WR Lacota Dippre has 37 catches for 501 yards and 9 scores.  WR Jon Seamans has hauled down 23 passes for 563 yards and 9 TDs.  RB Evan Pochas has galloped for 700 yards and a handful of scores.  Andrew Gelderman and Dippre lead the Chiefs on defense.  Lakeland 28 Western Wayne 24.

Palisades 6-2 @ Catasaqua 5-3 – District 11 offers up this tasty morsel.  The Pirates of Palisades are led by RB Steven Lilly and his 902 yards rushing with 16 touchdowns.  QB Kai Stiansen has thrown for 4 TDs and rushed for 8 others.  Lilly and Logan Winters head up the Pirate defense.  The Rough Riders of Catasaqua are led by QB Christian Fye who has 574 yards passing and 7 TDs along with 4 rushing scores.  WR Ian Juica has caught 5 TD tosses.  Chad Beller has 114 tackles on defense for the Rough Riders.  Protime’s coin flip has Palisades winning 24-20.

Central Clarion 8-0 @ St. Marys 6-2 – Clarion’s sophomore sensation, Jase Ferguson, has 1,895 yards passing and 24 TDs.  He has 5 running TDs too.  WR Ashton Rex has snagged 40 passes for 1,035 yards and 8 touchdowns.  Danny Smail has 416 yards receiving and 6 TDs.  On defense for the Wildcats, Ryan Hummel has 100 tackles and Ferguson has 4 picks.  QB Charlie Coudriet has thrown for 1,422 yards for the Flying Dutch.  He has 18 TDs passing and 9 rushing on 522 yards.  WR Carter Chadsey has 33 grabs for 524 yards and 11 scores.  Logan Mosier has hauled in 29 passes for 519 yards and 5 TDs.  RB Matthew Davis has 614 yards and 4 scores on the ground.  Eli Rippey has 72 tackles and the team has 93 tackles for loss.  The crystal ball has this a very close game with the visiting Wildcats coming out on top 35-28.

The Others:

Coatesville 26 Downingtown East 20 – Big one in D-1 with the Red Raiders downing the Cougars.

Bishop Canevin 34 Our Lady of the Sacred Heart 32 – Should be a tremendous game with the Crusaders topping the hard charging Chargers.

Elizabethtown 44 Garden Spot 38 – The Bears and the Spartans battle to the end with the Bears notching the W.

Farrell 41 Slippery Rock 22 – The Steelers defuse the Rockets and continue to ride roughshod over any and all D-10 competition they come in contact with.

Archbishop Wood 17 Father Judge 13 – Protime gives the Vikings the nod over the Crusaders.

State College 28 Cumberland Valley 14 – The Little Lions produce victory #9 in caging the Eagles.

Windber 39 Conemaugh Township 20 – The Ramblers run by the Indians.

Loyalsock 24 Troy 14 – In a game featuring unbeatens, the Lancers defeat the Trojans.

Berlin 28 Uniontown 7 – The Mountaineers continue their dominance by outscoring the Raiders.

Port Allegany 22 Keystone 15 – The Gators survive a scare from the Panthers.

Pope John Paul II 34 Phoenixville 26 – The Golden Panthers remain undefeated by beating the Phantoms.

Central Valley 31 West Allegheny 21 – The now 9-0 Warriors win a trap game to set up the showdown with Aliquippa next week.

Nazareth 27 Whitehall 24 – This will not be an easy game for the Eagles, but they manage to eke out the win over the Zephyrs.

Richland 45 Chestnut Ridge 35 – The Rams win another high-scoring contest.  This time with the Ridge Lions.

Manheim Central 42 Governor Mifflin 24 – The Barons go to 9-0 by besting the Mustangs.

Reynolds 36 Lakeview 31 – In a surprisingly close game, the Raiders slip by the Sailors.

Washington 18 Keystone Oaks 12 – The Little Prexies are a score better than the Golden Eagles.

West Chester Rustin 23 Great Valley 21 – This will be a fun game to witness and see the Golden Knights pull out the victory over the Patriots.

Penns Manor 43 Marion Center 16 – The Comets beat the Stingers.

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