Protime Predictions (The Time Protime Nearly Froze)

Tagged under: News, pfn, Protime Predictions

Phil Myers | December 1, 2022

Hearkening back to yesteryear, Protime recalls the 1978 Robert Conrad Eveready battery commercial where Conrad dared you to knock the battery off of his shoulder.  (It still can be viewed on YouTube.)  Being a popular commercial at that time, Protime and Brother Protime wanted to recreate that ad and what it would look like in the winter time.  So, they headed outside shirtless on a 10-degree winter’s morn.  What could go wrong being outside in freezing weather for a couple of minutes?  They piled snow in the rough shape of a battery, put it on their shoulders, and took a few pictures to commemorate the occasion.

A young Protime with a snow battery on his shoulder.

When they went outside, Protime closed the door behind them.  But he didn’t realize the door was locked and therefore, Protime unknowingly locked himself and Brother Protime out of the nice warm house.  Soon they were shivering trying to think of what to do.  It was a week day and none of the neighbors were home as they were working.  This was also years before cell phones came along.  The Protimes started checking all the first-floor windows, but they were locked.  To their relief, the last window they checked in the back of the house was unlocked.  Protime and Brother Protime were then able slide the window up enough to shimmy into the warm house and thaw out.

Speaking of warming up, Protime is getting hot when it counts.  He went 21-3 last week to increase his correct prediction percentage to .756 for the year.  He stands at 270-87 for the season with only 18 games remaining.  The amazing analyst, the Dean of Discernment, will now focus on the 12 semi-final contests.  Good luck to all remaining participants.

EDITOR’S NOTE: The complete preview of each semi-final game can be found elsewhere under ‘Recent News’ or each team’s corresponding ‘District News.’

1A Semi-Finals:

Canton 12-1 vs. Steelton-Highspire 12-1 @ Shamokin – This game is a huge contrast in styles for the offenses.  Canton rarely throws the ball.  Riley Parker has rushed for 1,290 yards and 24 touchdowns.  Steel High likes to sling it all over the place.  QB Alex Erby has passed for 2,779 yards and 38 touchdowns.  Protime had to consult his crystal ball for this one.  Steelton 35 Canton 28.

Union 11-3 vs. Port Allegany 12-1 @ Clarion University – The Union Scotties’ Braylon Thomas is the straw that stirs the offense.  The young QB has 1,128 passing yards with 12 TD tosses, plus he has rushed for 1,413 yards and scored 20 TDs.  The dominating O-Line consists of Jamel Mitchell, Jordan Brown, Mason Benedict, Robert McCurdy, and Mike Thomas.  The Scotties play a 3-4 defense with Mitchell, Mark Stanley, and Antonio Perez the front three.  The Port Allegany Gator offensive line averages about 240.  They are Miska Young, Juuso Young, Carson Neely, Braylon Button, and Levi Wilfong.  The two Youngs, Neely, and Button are the down linemen on defense for the Gators.  QB Drew Evens directs the offense, while Noah Archer (over 1,900 all-purpose yards) and Blaine Moses (1,099 yards rushing) can do a lot of damage.  Protime has Union 20 and Port 19 in a squeaker.

2A Semi-Finals:

Trinity 10-4 vs. Southern Columbia 11-3 @ Selinsgrove – The Trinity Shamrocks’ Cinderella season comes to an end at the hands of a familiar face in the playoffs, the SoCol Tigers.  Final score 35-20 Tigers.

Westinghouse 13-0 vs. Steel Valley 12-0 @ West Mifflin – This is the only semi-final game that pits two undefeated teams against each other.  They’ll be lots of hard hitting, and back and forth action in this one.  When the dust clears the ‘House’ Bulldogs will come out on top of the Ironmen 27-22.

3A Semi-Finals:

Wyomissing 13-0 vs. Neumann-Goretti 10-3 @Germantown S.S. – Both teams are battle tested and looking forward to the game with each other.  The Spartans did not play their best last week and it almost cost them.  They can’t do that again and get away with it.  Watch for the N-G Saints to hang in there till the end before falling to Wyomissing 31-26.

Belle Vernon 10-2 vs. Central (Martinsburg) 12-2 @ Central Cambria – Belle Vernon’s Leopards have been rolling since playing their 3A schedule.  RB Quinton Martin can do it all.  He has 1,169 yards rushing and over 400 yards receiving.  Martin has scored 29 TDs to date.  The Scarlet Dragons are a different kind of creature for the Leopards to play.  They are led by QB Jeff Hoenstine.  He has the state TD passing record and has thrown for 3,768 yards plus 50 TDs.  Eli Lingenfelter has 95 catches for 1,610 yards and 27 receiving touchdowns.  Protime finds it really hard to pick a winner, so he flipped his trusty coin.  Belle Vernon 38 Central 31.

4A Semi-Finals:

Crestwood 13-1 vs. Bishop McDevitt 11-1 @ Exeter Township – The Crestwood Comets have never been here before.  The Crusaders have.  That experience and McDevitt’s QB Stone Saunders, who has passed for 2,977 yards and 40 TDs, will be the difference.  Bishop McDevitt 38 Crestwood 21.

Allentown Central Catholic 9-5 vs. Aliquippa 12-0 @ Bald Eagle Area – A.C.C. can win this game.  The Vikings played a tremendously tough schedule.  But, alas, so did the Quips.  It will take a super human effort to beat the defending champs.  It looks to Protime that the much-anticipated rematch of last year’s 4A finals between McDevitt and Aliquippa is going to happen.  Quips 33 Vikings 22.

5A Semi-Finals:

Imhotep 9-2 vs. Upper Dublin 14-0 @ Wissahickon – This game can go either way.  Everyone knows how good Imhotep is, but Upper Dublin is just as good.  This game will be a defensive struggle with field position playing a huge role in who wins.  The crystal ball tells Protime that the ‘Tep Panthers will defeat the U.D. Cardinals by a score of 12-7.

Pine-Richland 11-3 vs. Cocalico 10-4 @ Altoona – Both teams have followed similar paths to get to this game.  They both found themselves with losing records after the first part of the season.  The Rams have since won 10 straight and the Eagles 7 in a row.  Both squads average around 30 points a game and the defenses allow in the mid-teens.  Cocalico is old school and runs the ball about 95% of the time.  Pine-Richland also likes to grind it out and play what Coach LeDonne calls, ‘Western PA football.’  Protime predicts a real slobber-knocker with the Rams of Pine-Richland prevailing over the Eagles of Cocalico 24-17.

6A Semi-Finals:

Garnet Valley 13-0 vs. St. Joes Prep 10-1 @ Northeast S.S. – Protime predicts Garnet Valley will not play as badly as they did last year against St. Joes.  Therefore, the game will be closer, but the Hawks will again go to the state title game.  St. Joes beats the G.V. Jaguars 27-20.

Harrisburg 10-2 vs. St. College 13-0 @ Altoona – These two schools have two great coaches in Calvin Everett of Harrisburg and Matt Lintal of St. College.  This contest is going to be like a chess game.  The Little Lions beat the Cougars during the season 20-6.  Protime thinks the Cougars will reverse the outcome this time.  Harrisburg’s Cougars 20 and St. College’s Little Lions 17.

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